The countdown begins.
In about 17 days, (only a couple weeks!) Luke will be turning 2! He has come a long way! There is nothing more awe inspiring to me than to watch him every step of the way. He never ceases to completely amaze me.
The same baby who grew inside of me, moved inside of me, who used my ribs as a footrest through majority of my pregnancy. The same tiny, 6lb 6oz, baby boy I first held in my arms, the little baby boy who smiled up at me the moment they handed him over to me. He is growing up so fast!!
This handsome little boy who chose me to be his mommy. That smile melted my heart. To me it told me there was nobody he trusted more with his life, that he could be just as happy to finally meet me face to face as I was to finally meet him!
Just when you think you know what love is, you meet someone with ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes to help you count your blessings with, who teaches you more about that subject than you could have ever imagined.
Being a parent you get to see them keep moving forward. They learn step by step, and set just as much of an example for us as we do for them. They learn to move their limbs, to roll over. They learn how to hold themselves up. They learn to crawl, to walk to run! We see them fall down and our hearts skip a beat, but they never give up. They might get hurt, they might get discouraged or frustrated but they try, try again.
In these past two years I have watched him make choices. I don't necessarily agree with all of them but I love watching him learn and grow from his decisions. Simple things, like choosing mac & cheese for lunch, what cereal he wants for breakfast, if he decides he is going to eat his veggies or if he decides the rabbits needed them more than he did. If a child feels big, they are going to act big. I love helping him recognize the importance of making wise decisions. I am not a parent meant to stand in his way, I am not meant to choose for him but to teach him, to guide him. I will walk with him, carry him when needed but its important they learn to do things for themselves.
I've shed tears, I have my fears and concerns. As a parent I constantly worry about the world he will grow up in. This is the beauty of growing up in enemy territory. The world may be a terribly frightening place where satin has power and influence over the vast majority, but my home is my temple. I have greater influence on my son, because he does not live in the world, he lives in not a house, but a home. Where there is love, comfort, shelter. Where we serve the Lord. I get to teach him everything I wish I could teach the world.
I am a mother. I am a servant to my, God's, children. I serve the Lord by serving his children. I would teach them what he would have me teach them. It is a huge responsibility to be a parent. It is important to know where we came from, but more importantly we need to not be so blind to see where we are headed, versus where we should be going.
As a mother my goal is to assist in leading my family back to our eternal home. We didn't come from nowhere, why would we go nowhere. If we created our children, how is it any different than someone else needing to have created us? We send our kids to school, we ourselves went to school, how is Sunday School any less important spiritually than elementary, middle, or high school is mentally? When we see our children get hurt do they blame it on us? How is this any different than when we blame our own inflictions on God? We see our children get hurt or they turn away from us, how is this any different than what the Lord feels for us?
I absolutely love being a parent. I enjoy my responsibility, my sacrifices, my blessings. I believe in doing what is right. If we cannot tell right from wrong it does not mean that there is no right or wrong it means we are justifying ourselves for being unable to recognize we have moved too far from moral standards.
I am thrilled that my son is turning two! Scared, but thrilled! He has made so much progress. He chose on his own free will to take steps forward in potty training, to help me around the house, to follow my examples I have set for him. I believe you have to be the results you wish to see. Kids want and strive to be just like you! That means a lot to me! I want to be someone he can be proud of, so he can be someone I can be proud of! You can't make rich soil out of water and mud if you don't give them the right nutrients to grow something with it. If you can't grow something beautiful and breath taking, awe inspiring, then what's the point? Every soul has its worth and I love showing my son how much he means to me by how and what I teach him. I will lead him to wherever there is peace, true happiness not just an illusion of happiness, I will lead him home. I will teach him to be the best he can be. Not by my standards, not by others' standards, but the only standards that ever matter; The Lord's standards.
I am so happy and proud of him already. I am so excited for him to begin the next year of his life. There is no greater love than a love of a true parent and a child and to me that says a lot about the love my father in heaven must have for me. I love waking up every morning to see that little boy sleep, and for that little boy to wake up every morning with a smile for me is all the reason in the world to do my best for him every day. As a parent nothing is about us, its about them! Nothing has made me happier than doing everything I can to make him laugh, smile and happy. From silly faces, and tickles to just being there for him. I would do everything with him or for him. I would watch all the silly cartoon shows over and over just to sit there beside him. I would play all the silly little kid games, just to bond with him. Just to be with him. Just to see him grow. Who would want to miss a second with their child? Especially not over something that I might not be interested in but its a sacrifice I have no problem making because I am interested in him! I full heartedly love being a mother!
Now then.. What to do to celebrate the end of a year and the beginning of a new adventure, a new chapter in my little boys life!?
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